Too much this, not enough that: how to shake things up

Mood level: overcame frustration into peace 🙂

Books: Still “The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes”, this is highly filmable!

Other pleasures: poetry & performance workshop

– Well, don’t worry about it – he says, dark eyes widening. – You’ve done well. Poets are quite cerebral usually, and I’m doing acting workshop kind of stuff.

I sit there, halfway through from my previous boneless sprawl. My experiences in local poetry nights have taught me that I can fit in with being cerebral. But I don’t want to. I always want to shake things up and roll around the floor. Reading from page (which I’ve done) makes me want to scream. Does it mean I’m not a poet? Does it mean I’m doing poetry wrong?

I’ve been thinking that way my whole life. I thought that when I was too artsy for my uni group, but too “thinky” for actors from workshops I attended. Too “in the head” or too physical. Too “dancey” for physical improvisation, not fit enough for dance. And so on. What am I? I kept wondering. Whatever I tried on, I seemed to be doing it wrong.

It’s the hardest thing. It’s the easiest thing. It’s the thing: I am enough for all I do.

I can fill any label the way I want. This is how I am: as an actor, a dancer, a poet, a singer. A body, a voice.

Or I can reject the labels. I am no poet, actor, dancer. I am Rita. A Rita. The only one. The best one. I am a happening. A work of art.

Whichever I choose, the constant comparison will cease to be constant. And then it will cease to be. I am. I work. I do my work. I feel my way through. I love working with other people.

It may not be easy, but it is simple.

I can always do My Best.

So let’s get on with it! 🙂

(The workshop happened courtesy of Apples & Snakes and was led by Ali Gadema. It was great! and – thought provoking….. 🙂 )

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