Who you are and who you want to be

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”

I found that gem yesterday on zen proverbs. It really made me think. You see, I’m a dreamer and I imagine myself in a variety of situations. When I get there – and I do get there – it’s often nothing like I imagined it to be. Are my dreams useless? Are they pointless?

No, and no. They’re pointers. They’re a 2D picture that doesn’t prepare me for 3D. My current self can’t quite imagine my full, multi-faceted future self. We are not simple, linear beings. We spin on a dime. We are influenced by our thoughts, environment, response patterns…. (essentially, thoughts; the rest is decoration). Recently I heard from my lover: “Who you are is so much more interesting than who you want to be”.

Even though I want to rebel – I want what I want for a reason, and I invested a lot of energy into these images – I also know that he is right.

Changing the subject, I am now in Eastbourne. Seeing as we didn’t find time to make Valentine’s Day plans, going to work today I said to K. – Pick me up 6:30 in Twickenham and let’s go somewhere. Outside of London. Anywhere. – Then I forgot my phone (not on purpose) to make life more interesting. Now we are indeed Away From London. Hotel is opposite a contemporary art museum and a theatre. I am going to enjoy this! Talk to you later…. 🙂

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