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Mood: tense; about to spring into action
I missed a post! As promised to myself and you, I won’t beat myself up about it: Eastbourne was lovely, we took a long coastal walk to Beachy Head (I know, cliffs!) and I didn’t want to even switch on my laptop after that. 🙂 Today I am thinking on things that I didn’t quite do. One of them is – giving library books back.
I first moved out of the area. Then – unpacked, and here they were. It was out of my way, to go there. Time had passed. Library fine happened.
I didn’t want to give them back. I wanted to re-read them! The Complete Stories by Alice Walker proved too difficult for me: I read two and empathized so much with the heroines that I hadn’t been able to continue – so I wanted a second go. I wanted to re-read Jeanette Winterson’s Written on the Body for the sheer beauty, and Michael Foley’s The Age of Absurdity for sheer wisdom (the reverse applies). Finally I wanted to re-read (and OWN) Joanna Russ’ The Female Man for the insight, rebelliousness and sheer fuck-you-patriarchy. I wanted to adapt it for a solo show.
God, how I wanted. My hunger of the written word is hardly ever sated nowadays. So many books left unread. But then, thus the life goes on, with books left to read still. Meanwhile, library fine reached fairly epic proportions and, for months now, I had organized a notification system for myself – thirty renewals and still going strong. Pathetic? Better than accumulating the fine and feeling worse and worse and worse.
Still. Time for the next stage. I want to read them again. But tomorrow, I’ll call the library. (Can somebody post a comment or something? I need accountability!). This situation should be discussed with a human being. I do not want things to hang over my head. There are things that make life worth living, and there are things that just get in the way. I know which one this is.
(Yesterday’s note, though now skipped, was meant to be about becoming British. Perhaps next time?)